Love is present through all things. Love exists in all shapes and sizes: love between parents and children, love between partners, love between friends and chosen family, etc... The difference between types of love is indescribable and represents a bond that tethers us to one another regardless of circumstance.
There is another kind of love- one so deeply ingrained that it affects every experience we have. Love that we don't talk about enough. Self-love.
As a therapist and counselor, I am very good at --and find fulfillment in-- showing care and concern for others. However, showing compassion and love for yourself is much more difficult. Over time, I have realized 2 important things that can be done to improve how I see myself, and I want to share them with you here:
Pay attention to how you talk to yourself. You can slowly begin to change negative patterns just by noticing and gradually changing. So, instead of taunting yourself for a mistake you made, remind yourself that it’s okay and that you are learning and growing.
Put yourself first. It's OKAY to do something for you. Treat yourself to that bubble bath, latte before work, or relaxing night in. You cannot help others and be present for those that you love if you don't give yourself the time of day. Just like being in an airplane emergency, you have to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help the person next to you.
REMEMBER, you are worth it.
Loving ourselves is something that we don’t always do naturally for many different reasons, but it is something we can learn to do, slowly, over time.
If you would like to learn more, I highly recommend reading Self Compassion by Kristin Neff, a lead author and researcher on self-love. If you are looking for someone to help you unravel the concept of self-compassion in your own life, I would love to partner with you on your journey. Click the link above to schedule an appointment.
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